South Florida has some of the best adult entertainment in the country highlighted by a large number and variety of strip clubs. The girls that work at these establishments are, without a doubt, the most beautiful you will ever see and their style of entertainment can be WAY different from other parts of the country. Full Nudity and Full Friction are allowed so the G-strings come off and the bumping gets grinding. Wherever you are in South Florida you won't be far from a club, in fact, there are so many clubs that it can be hard to choose which one to go to. Most clubs have specials and promotions on certain days and times and many of the larger clubs even have special events from Porn Star appearances to MMA fights. This guide will give some descriptions and insights to my "Top 10" clubs and also information about lesser known "Spots". Whether you prefer the High-Class VIP Rooms or like "Makin it Rain", South Florida has the clubs and the girls to make it happen. From down south in Key West, all the way up north to West Palm Beach the girls are waiting...the question is, Are You Ready?
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By: firstname.lastname@example.org - 02/11/14
The Top 10
Bella's (formerly Porky's)
Playhouse North & South
1. Tootsies - 150 NW 183rd ST Miami Gardens, FL 33169
The Be-All and End-All of Strip clubs. This place is huge and has all the amenities you would expect from a a high-end club. But the real attraction to this place is the girls. There are literally hundreds of beautiful women of all shapes, sizes and colors on any given night, so many that you may never see the same one come back to perform on the Main stage. The girls are very friendly but not pushy, they're "Down for Whatever" so you'll always get your moneys worth whether it be a few dollar tip on stage to a few hours in the VIP room. If you can't find a woman you like here, you won't find one anywhere.
Pros: The place is huge, even when it's packed you can find a place to sit and not feel crowded as in other clubs. They even have a whole other section to the club that's a Sports Bar called "Knockers", there you can play pool, catch the game or just step away from the action to catch your breath. A daily Happy Hour til 8 pm with 1/2 off drinks which are poured good and strong makes this place awesome!
Cons: I can't think of any...really, Tootsies is awesome!!
Inside Advice: Admission is free before 8 but you can usually find a coupon online for free entry. Tipping your bartender or waitress well will ensure strong drinks and quick service.
2. King of Diamonds - 17800 NE 5th Avenue Miami, FL 33138
Seldom can a strip club be categorized as a "Tourist Spot", but if there is such a thing King of Diamonds (KOD to the locals) would be it. This is the place where Athletes, Hip-Hop Moguls, Rappers and Pop Stars compete to see who can "Make it Rain" and pop the most bottles of Dom P. Regulars include Rick Ross, P. Diddy, Lil' Wayne and recently Justin Beiber reportedly spent $75k in one night. The place is huge with multiple stages, bars, VIP Rooms and Skyboxes. The club is known as "Urban" which means mostly black women, although there are some white and hispanic girls there as well.
Pros: The Girls!! If there's a category for Professional Strippers the women who work at KOD would be it. They know exactly how to perform on stage and up close to get those stacks of bills flying and the partying going crazy. If you like Big Round Asses shaking so fast it looks like their moving in slow motion, then KOD is the place to be.
Cons: If your on a budget or have a weak heart don't go to KOD...both will explode.
Inside Advice: Don't bother arriving before 12 (Midnight) as the girls don't really start coming out until then with the party being in full swing between 2-5 am. The ATM inside is expensive so get some cash before going. The exit for KOD is Miami Gardens drive whether your going North or South on I-95, you then you have to go down a small side street along the freeway to get there, a little odd if its your first time.
3. Scarlett's Cabaret - 2920 SW 30th Avenue Hallandale, FL 33009
If there's a club that combines a High-End Strip Club with a Dance Party then Scarlett's is it! The place has all the appearances and environment of a high energy club on South Beach, combined with some of the most beautiful women you will ever see performing on multiple stages throughout the club. The place has so much of a club feel in fact that many women and groups of women come in just to enjoy the party scene as well (although technically they need to be escorted by a least one male companion). Sometimes it's difficult to figure out if a girl is there working or just there for a good time. If you want to see beautiful naked women and party inside a high energy club, then Scarlett's is the place.
Pros: Scarlett's has some of the best events and specials of any club in South Florida. From bottle service specials to Customer Appreciation Open Bar nights (Yes, I do mean Open Bar. Free Premium Liquor), they strive to make your experience a great one.
Cons: Parking. If you don't arrive early, intend on paying for Valet parking unless your prepared to take a 5 minute walk to the front door. Hopefully you can catch the security man riding around in the golf cart to give you a ride, but thats a coin flip.
Inside Advice: Sign up for their newsletter so you'll be on top of all the specials and events they have throughout the month. Dress nice...even though they don't really have a dress code, most people are dressed "Casually Fresh" and similar to what you may see at Mansion or Liv.
4. BT's (Booby Trap South Miami) - 5922 S Dixie Hwy South Miami, FL 33143
If you like your strip clubs to be raw and uninhibited then Booby Trap of South Miami is your spot. The girls here are not only beautiful but "Bout it", meaning if you got the money then they've got the time and the bodies to make you want to spend your last dollar. The girls range from OK to Fabulous looking and the service is usually pretty good from the bar and waitresses. This is a great place to hang out after coming from the sports bar and your ready to see and experience some real action.
Pros: A great place to hang with friends or take your "Down" girl friend before heading in for the night. Their main stage is really good for tipping and they can have 2 or 3 girls on it at one time. The action really heats up after 2 am so be prepared to have a good time.
Cons: The place is relatively small and can get packed to the point where its hard to walk around. They also have this fog machine that leaves the place in a perpetual haze, a little annoying. You'll also have to pay to park either at a meter on the street or a valet section which is usually 5-10 dollars.
Inside Advice: Their website has a printable coupon for free admission and a free drink. Check regularly for specials as they normally have an Open Bar night once a month and you can usually get a good price on a bottle if you talk to the Manager. Buying a bottle also gets you a free admission into the VIP area where its just you, a beautiful girl and your imagination.
5. Cheetah's - 100 Ansin Boulevard Hallandale Beach, FL 33009
If your looking for a classy place to have a drink, watch sports, have a meal and oh by the way, do this in the company of beautiful women, then Cheetah's is the place. Cheetah's has a really nice and clean environment that almost looks like a hip restaurant and bar when you walk in the door. The decor is modern and the lighting really sets the mood of this place having a cool and happening vibe. Of course the main attraction is the women, and Cheetah's doesn't disappoint as the girls are numerous and gorgeous amongst multiple stages and levels of the club.
Pros: The club has a nice clean and open feel, some of the secondary stages are right next to tables areas so you can get very close to the action. A ton of customer specials and events along with a free daily lunch may have you getting back late to the office. They also have a great Sports Lounge area.
Cons: Almost seems too clean, but don't let that foul you. The girls are awesome and its a nice alternative to Scarlett's which is basically on the other side of the freeway.
Inside Advice: They are known to have free food and an Open Bar some nights starting at 3 am, you can't beat that.
6. BT's Doral - 5325 NW 77th Ave Doral, FL 33166
This is the sister club of BT's in South Miami, but this club is bigger and nicer with a little better mix of women. It has two large bars with a central stage area where 2, 3 and 4 girls can be up at any one time. They also have a group of semi-private cubicle areas that have lounge seating and individual TV's. The club also has a large VIP area with plenty of tables and seating.
Pros: The club is large so you won't feel cramped even when it's packed like you will at the BT's in South Miami. The girls are beautiful and aim to please, so leave your girlfriend at home because she will get jealous.
Cons: At night they make you pay to self-park in their parking lot which seems stupid since your already paying to get in the club. Their bar is missing some popular liquors like Ketel One vodka and Don Julio tequila.
Inside Advice: They have a daily free lunch menu and 2-4-1 drinks on Happy Hour until 8. Stop in early to take advantage and also to check the place out. Their website also has a printable coupon for free admission and a free drink.
7. Dean's Gold - 2355 NE 163rd St - North Miami Beach, FL 33160
Dean's Gold is large and nice and just looks and feels like a strip club is suppose to. It has plenty of open seating and also a large number of lounge seating areas for customers who order bottle service. The women here are beautiful without a doubt and they have no problem with taking you to the next level either at your table or in the VIP area.
Pros: Lots of room and multiple stages. $100 bottle specials before midnight can let a group have a great time and leave plenty of cash available for the girls.
Cons: Why do I have to pay $5 to self park in your own parking lot? Individual drinks can be a bit pricey.
Inside Advice: Print out their free admission pass before hitting club, that will save you 10 bucks. Free Admission.
8. Vivid Live - 7020 NW 72nd Avenue Miami, Florida 33166
Vivid Live is less than 6 months old but its quickly gaining a reputation as one of the best strip clubs in Miami. Backed by Vivid Entertainment, you will regularly find your favorite Vivid porn star performing on stage. The club has two levels with a large main stage and bar on the first and a Sports Lounge, VIP areas and VIP Skyboxes on the second. The lighting and the music makes you feel like your in a club on South Beach and the women of course are all top-notch.
Pros: Very spacious with plenty of seating, the upstairs sports lounge is a go-to place to chill and get to know your favorite girl better.
Cons: You basically have to pay for valet parking which is $10, adding the $20 cover and you've spent $30 without seeing as much as a boob. Drinks are a little pricey
Inside Advice: Go for the Happy Hour with complimentary buffett until 8 pm, if you like what you see come back later when the action really heats up.
9. Playmates - 3835 Shipping Ave Coral Gables, FL 33146
Playmates is centrally located between Coral Gables and Coconut Grove and about 5 minutes from Downtown Miami. Until Club E11EVEN opened, it was the closet strip club to downtown. Playmates is not big buts its nice, it has a large central stage with one large bar area. It has plenty of seating and what looks to be a nice VIP area for those private dances. The girls for the most part are really good looking so you should have a good time.
Pros: They have some nice specials before 8 pm, so if you work in the area its a nice place to stop by after work. It's also near Brickell so it's an easy place to get to after hitting that area.
Cons: Unless you park in their valet, you have to park on the street which is a little scary because the area is so industrial looking and it's back in the "Cut" off of US1 and Ponce. The girls come around asking for a tip when they come off stage here, a little annoying but tolerable.
Inside Advice: If you park on the street double-check your parking because you will get towed if you park in the wrong spot.
10. E11EVEN - 29 N.E. 11th Street Miami, FL 33132
Club E11EVEN is brand new and billed as Miami's first and only 24-hour club. Situated in Downtown Miami across from Club Space, it is centrally located and easily accessed from any part of the city. The question is, what kind of club is it? Is it a strip club, night club, cirque du soleil show, lounge or a restaurant as it seems to be trying to combine all these elements under one roof. The place is large with two levels with the second level having a number of VIP rooms and a full bar area. It has a large central area on the main floor that resembles what you might find in a typical night club. This area has a small round dancer stage with a removable stripper pole and there is a also a stage in front of the main bar and a small elevated round stage near the entrance. The club actually even has a third level which is the rooftop restaurant called "Touche". The design and decor is definitely top-of-the-line with a reported price tag of $44 million for the build out. The women, as you would expect, are gorgeous and they all seem to be wearing long skimpy evening gowns which like Scarlett's, sometimes makes it hard to determine which girls are working and which girls are there just for fun. It's hoping to be the new "IT" spot in Miami, so the question is, are you ready for a table dance at 9 in the morning?
Pros: They have an Executive Happy Hour from 4-8 pm Mon-Fri that has great food and drink prices. The rooftop restaurant/lounge is going to be "The Spot", especially at 5 am to have a birds eye view of all the comings and goings from Club Space.
Cons: Even though the place is huge, there isn't a lot of seating. Most of the tables and chairs seem to be reserved for bottle service guests which leaves you standing or hoping for a chair at the bar. The ATM inside is expensive and even though you might want to hit the dance floor, there isn't one.
Inside Advice: Get on their VIP list and bring your business card during Happy Hour.
Bare Necessity - 9100 S Dixie Hwy, Miami, FL 33156
Club Madonna - 1527 Washington Avenue Miami Beach, FL 33139
Stir Crazy - 12425 South Dixie Hwy Pinecrest, FL 33156
Stir Crazy is an old school strip club in South Miami that still packs them in on a regular basis. The girls here, while not the A-Team, are hard working and appreciate their customers by treating them well and showing them a good time. The women here are mostly hispanic and spanish speaking so brush up on those dirty words.
Stonewall Lounge - 1795 W Okeechobee Rd Hialeah, FL 33010
Instead of Stonewall this place should be called Hole-in the-Wall because thats exactly what it is. A dive that happens to have some so-so looking chicks ready to hit the hourly-rate. This place is just north of Miami airport in an industrial section so you can already imagine what it's like. It's small and dank with a stage in the middle of the floor and some tables surrounding it. If your really looking to take a stripper somewhere even more private, then this is the place.
Wonderland - 7770 Biscayne Blvd, Miami, FL 33138
Wonderland is about 10 minutes north of Downtown Miami on Biscayne Blvd., apparently because of this, there prices on everything from valet, entry and drinks are some of the most expensive you will find anywhere. The club itself has a large, almost cavernous feel to it and all the decor is new and top-of-the line. There is plenty of seating and also a number of VIP rooms to take your favorite dancer. All the women are really good looking and they usually have big crowds on the weekends. If your OK with spending $30-$40 before you step through the door and you want to stay close to South Beach, then Wonderland may be a good choice.